QuickSilver Remus LupinMarlene McKinnon
by GorgeousMorning
Summary: This is the story of Remus Lupin's first Love with a girl named Marlene McKinnon.  Let me tell you... It's quite a tragic story.   Set during the time of the first wizarding war :    JK Rowling owns everything, except for my ideas :


QuickSilver- A Remus/Marlene Songfic.

**{December 12****th**** 1977 (seventh year)}**

_[And I don't know_

_This could break my heart or save me_

_Nothing's real_

_Until you let go completely_

_So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving_

_So here I go with all my fears weighing on me.]_

"Marlene?" asked a cautious Remus Lupin. The beautiful girl in front of him turned around in her seat with a breathtaking smile in place and tilted her head to the side in question. "Yeah?" Remus hated to ruin her mood, but he had to ask.

"I heard about you and Cedric Wood. Are you okay?" he asked, referring to the nasty break-up that had occurred the day before. Her deep brown eyes lowered slightly. "I'm fine Remus, really. But thanks for the concern." She said a bit quieter than she would normally talk. Remus sank into the seat next to her and placed a tentative hand over hers. She didn't move away. "He wasn't worth it Marls," Remus told her. "And if you're worried about getting a last minute date to the Winter Ball, there's still quite a few guys left who would love to go with you."

"Well most of them are just as bad as Wood, if not worse. Maybe I'll just go stag. Who are _you_ going with, anyway?" she asked him. Remus grimaced. "Amelia Bones. Sirius asked her for me, and I didn't want to be rude and tell her I had planned on going with someone else. So now I'm stuck with her, and Sirius gets a laugh."

Marlene snorted, and rolled her eyes. "Sirius is so immature," she said, and Remus grinned, nodding. She continued. "Well maybe you can ditch her when you get there and dance with the special girl you _wanted _to ask?"

"That sounds lovely, but I couldn't do that to Amelia. She'd be _crushed_. Maybe I'll ask the girl for a dance or two though, you never know."

Marlene flipped her platinum blonde bangs out of her eyes and smiled endearingly at him. "Hope she says yes."

Remus let out a breath. "Yeah, me too. But you see, this girl and me are pretty close, and I wouldn't want to risk our friendship. It means too much to me."

"Yeah? Well, personally, I think you should just tell Amelia that you don't like her like that, and ask this girl out. If she means so much to you, she'd want you to be honest with her. Plus, she might have a date soon if she doesn't have one yet. Not to mention the fact that it's our last year here and therefore your last chance to ask her to a ball."

Remus ran a hand through his sandy brown hair and licked his lips nervously. Marlene shook her head at him, sighing dramatically.

"Remus Lupin will you ask me to the goddamn Winter Ball already?" She finally burst out, a bit too loudly. She lowered her head away from all the stares and raised her apologetic brown eyes to meet his amber ones, before grinning and stifling a giggle. She hadn't meant for the entire class to hear her outburst. Remus chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"Marlene, will you be my date to the Winter Ball?" he said finally, and she pursed her lips together as if in thought. "Hmm. Maybe." She said. Remus put his head in his hands. "Marls. Come on. Go with me, please?"

"Okaaay…" she pouted, narrowing her eyes in fake annoyance, but it was short-lived because he chose that moment to place a soft, impetuous kiss on her lips.

**{Present Time (1980)- Monday, February 28****th****.}**

_[Three months and I'm still sober_

_Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers_

_But I know it's never really over]_

Remus Lupin sat with a photograph clutched tightly in his left hand. He held it away from his body, and gripped it protectively. He raised his head slowly and glanced at the scene in the moving picture. At least this, they couldn't take from him. What use would a photo be to them after all?

It was of he and Marlene, taken during the summer that they had spent together down by the seaside. She had always loved the ocean, the feel of the sand under her bare toes. She had told him once that if she could be anywhere, she'd want to be on that beach in the evening with him, staring up into the velvet sky littered with glowing stars.

In the picture, her hair was dark brown (she had decided to let her natural color grow in), and it blew around her face in the wind. She was laughing, and he was twirling her around, and around, and around… Finally she placed a kiss on his cheek and he grinned at the camera. Lily had taken the picture.

Lily. The thought of her made his heart clench even more. James. Alice. Frank. Mary. Peter. And Marlene. A tear fell onto the photograph and he whipped at it furiously. Everyone was gone. Dead, or may as well be. He knew he should try to let it all go, but it had been three months and he was still barely functioning. Everything reminded him of her, or of them. How does one go on?

"Marlene…" he whispered, dropping the repeating photograph onto the wood floor of their old flat. It was his flat now, because she was gone, like the rest of them. Except Sirius. Remus thought of how little Sirius had seemed to care, his maniacal laughing face as they dragged him off to Azkaban. Everyone was dead, insane, or dead to him.

**{Summer 1979} **

_[And I don't know_

_I could crash and burn but maybe_

_At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me_

_So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right_

_No comparing, second guessing, no not this time.]_

The soft shell of sunlight was warm on their faces as the blinds blew about in the silky breeze from the beach. Remus lay on his side, half awake and half asleep in the morning light. Marlene was there, breathing quietly. She was asleep and dreams moved behind her eyelids in circles. Her hair was fanned out on the pillow next to his head and Remus thought it smelled like the ocean and vanilla. He tucked her into his arms. She moved in her sleep, closer to him. "Mmm…" she mumbled, before she woke up. She turned around slowly to look at him and blushed when she did.

"Morning, love." He whispered, kissing her sleep-swollen lips gently. She smiled and circled her arms around his torso, twining her long pianist fingers into his slightly shaggy hair. "How are you?" she asked him, and he shrugged.

"It was better than usual." He said, referring to his full moon transformation, which had happened during the night. He had locked himself into their little shed which had plenty of strengthening enchantments, as well as silencing charms, so that no one would hear his howls or the sounds of him hurling his body into the walls. Not that there were many people at the beach that summer.

"That's good." She said, trailing her hands down his arms, his abdomen. He shivered a little. "You healed yourself?" she asked when she found no new cuts or bruises. He nodded. "I know the spells. I didn't want to wake you up."

"You know I don't mind getting up early once a month." She reasoned and he sighed, pulling her closer to him.

"I know Marls. But you looked so peaceful, sleeping, I didn't want you to have to leave your dreamworld to come into a reality where you had to heal a beaten up werewolf."

"Remus, you're a man. Mine. And you know that I'd rather be in reality with you." She said softly. "I love you."

**{Present (1980)- Tuesday, March 3****rd.****}**

_[Three months and I'm still breathing_

_Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know_

_It's never really over, no._

_Wake up.]_

"Please let me in. I'm a friend." Remus Lupin said to the nurse blocking the entrance to the '_Curses and Magical Maladies'_ ward at St. Mungo's. The nurse, a young woman around 25, sighed. "Who are you here to see again, Mister?" she inquired. Remus didn't have the energy to be annoyed. "Alice and Frank Longbottom." He told her, for the third time. "One second." She poked her head around the door. "Sophie? This gentleman here says he wants to see Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom. Is that possible?" Remus heard another loud sigh.

"Just let him in Lydia. But if he wants a conversation, he isn't going to get one. They still aren't awake. Magical Coma says the doctor." Remus pushed passed and entered the circular hospital ward. The walls surrounding him were a dull white as were all six of the beds. There were two windows in the room, high up, which gave little to no light. Remus saw that four of the beds were occupied, and his gaze connected to the nameplates he was looking for.

Making his way towards the back of the room, he stifled a gasp. Alice's once dark chestnut hair was almost white, thin, and stringy. Her face was gaunt and pale and the soft dusting of freckles across her nose that he had been so fond of were replaced by red, blotchy spots. Frank looked none the better, but his hair, at least, was darker. They looked unnatural and Remus could hardly recognize them.

"Alice." Remus's voice broke slightly. "Frank!"

"You won't get a reaction out of them, dear. I'm sorry. They've been like this since they were brought in," said an older nurse. She looked at him sadly, patting his shoulder before going to talk to one of the other occupants of the ward. Remus bit back his tears. Alice and Frank were the only ones left alive, aside from Sirius, and they couldn't even move.

"Alice, I know you can't hear me, but I wish you could. I need to talk to someone about what happened," he told her still figure. "There are some things I did. Things that I can't let go of, and I know that if you were awake and well you'd find some way to get me to move on." Remus took a deep breath. He had to tell someone, and friends in a Magical Coma were better than no friends. "The night Marlene died was a full moon, and I was worried about her. She's always stayed at home, but the last few weeks had been strained and after her brother died… I asked her to go to her parents' house for the night, so I'd know she was safe." Remus could feel tears tracing fine lines down his face and made no move to wipe them away. "She didn't want to go. We fought awfully twice that day, the most we'd ever fought. She locked me in the shed, and then she left. I had a horrible transformation that night, I think maybe I sensed something was wrong, I don't know… but when the morning came, she didn't come to let me out."

Remus could feel the eyes of the nurse, Sophie, on his back, but didn't stop talking. If he did, he would probably never get this out. "James came and let me out, Alice. He looked terrified, shocked… I asked him what had happened and he told me I should go with him and see, because he couldn't bring himself to say it. When we got to Marlene's house I started to lose it. Why were we there? I ran in the front door. There were Aurors all around and the house was in ruins. It couldn't sink in. I screamed for her. I screamed for M-Marlene, but no one answered, no one…came down the s-stairs…" Remus's voice was chocked with tears and he could hardly speak. "She… She died, Alice. Her whole family… was k-killed… She would have been safe if I had let her stay at home. It's all my fault. I was going to ask her to marry me. I had the ring." He said, taking Alice's limp hand in his sweaty one and squeezing it lightly. "I miss her s-so m-much…and," said Remus quietly, his entire body shaking, "I found out afterwards she was pregnant."

Alice moved in her coma sleep and he felt a light pressure against his fingers. She was squeezing his hand back.

**{Present (1980)- Sunday, March 15****th****.}**

_[Three months and I'm still standing here_

_Three months and I'm getting better yeah_

_Three months and I still am.]_

Remus Lupin made his way to the muggle library that was just around the corner from him, and sat down in his favorite chair by the west-facing window. He opened the little leather notebook he had been so afraid to touch before and began to read.

January 11th 1979 at 8:30 pm.

Dear Diary,

Today was positively magical! I spent the day with Lily and James and little Harry and Neville (Alice and Frank are gone until tomorrow-Auror business). We went down to the market and ate the sandwiches Lily had made, and then I took the boys out for ice cream. Lily rolled her eyes, be sure, but James (the goof) was thrilled. Little Neville got chocolate all down his front and then proceeded to give me the biggest hug in all of humanity, and Lily just found it hilarious! She always believed in Karma… I was walking down the street with Harry in my arms and an older lady told me "You have a lovely son there dear." I told her thank you, because _I _wasn't going to correct her, and I felt elated for the rest of the day. I played wizards outside with the boys and James, while Lily made lunch (Cream of Mushroom Soup and Treacle Tart for desert). I ended up stuck in a tree (James' fault) and I got branches caught in my hair and clothes, which took ages to get out (and I didn't even get it all, Remus found it quite amusing when I went home). But I had a wonderful time and we even played a quick game of Quidditch! James got out two brooms and I strapped Neville onto my back while James did the same to Harry. We played without bludgers of course and there were cushioning charms covering the ground but Lily was still very un-amused. Which just made it all the more exciting! When I got home, Remus was already making supper and it smelled like heaven. We sat down and started to eat, and I started a game of footsies, which ended up… Well you know the rest. Remus found a few sticks in my hair and we laughed, and then he went into the bathroom to have a shower. Actually, that's where he is right now. I should stop writing and oh god, are the blinds open? Well, I best be off.

~_Marlene McKinnon (Lupin?) _

Remus traced her letters with his finger and smiled softly. The 'Lupin' at the end sent a pang to his chest but he forced it away. Her writing sounded just like Marlene talking, completely rambling and totally unconcerned. Remus could remember that night now and how she had been in her underwear when he came out of the shower, doing what looked like yoga on the hardwood floor. He had cleared his throat and she had whipped around, wand at the ready. "That looks comfortable." He had remarked sarcastically and she dropped her wand, pouting slightly. "It's _relaxing_." She said adamantly, resuming her pose. After a few minutes of this, she had sighed and walked over to the bed. "My back hurts Remus. The floor is _hard_."

Remus flipped through the little book and found himself smiling at her writing. Until he found one of the pages he had been dreading. The entry for the day her brother died.

May 17th 1979 at 1:00 am

Dear Diary,

So this is goodbye Danny, I can't cry…I can't look down at your face and cry, because I know if the tears spill over my cheeks this time they are never going to Stop. Kneeling before you, praying that you are okay, wherever you are, is one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with. I know that you're away from the pain, I know that you're happy now, I know that nothing can hurt you, but I will never see you on this earth ever again.

I think tears are an inappropriate response to death. When a life has been lived honestly and successfully…The correct response to death's painful punctuation mark is a smile. As Dorothy Parker says: Death is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.

I guess she has a point. The pain isn't going to go away, but it will get better. I have Remus, and Lily and Alice, and James and Sirius and Frank and Mary and Amos. I have little Harry and Neville. I have to accept the fact that you are dead. Accept it, and with time…

~_Marlene McKinnon (Lupin?) _

Quicksilver in the hand. Maybe for a human it would dart away, but if Remus were to clutch it in his hand it would burn it's way into his flesh and slowly kill him from the inside out. He didn't want to think about that, so he quickly flipped the pages until he came across her last entry. He would read it in its entirety later.

December 16th 1979 at 6:15 pm (Full Moon)

Dear Diary,

I visited Lily earlier today and I told her that I was pregnant. She told me what I already know; that I have to tell Remus _soon _even though I'm scared. He said he didn't want to risk passing on the lycanthropy to a child, and so we couldn't have children. And I want to be understanding about this to make him happy, but I can't. I'm thrilled. I've wanted this for so long, but I'm just scared he'll flip out. Either way, I really have to tell him soon. I'll tell him tomorrow, I don't want his transformation to be worse because of me. He's been acting strange lately (so have I), we fought **twice**today and tonight he even told me I have to go to my parents' house to stay safe. I think he thinks it's Daniel's death catching up to me again, but it's not. I told him it wasn't, but I don't know if he believed me. Urgh, I am so annoyed at him right now! I know it's unfair, but he can be so stubborn! I know I told him I'd go, but I still don't want to. I told him I'd be _fine _but he won't listen! I don't want to go to my parents' house. I want to stay home.

~_Marlene McKinnon… Lupin. _

Lupin. That was the last word in her diary. A hand tapped his shoulder and he turned around to meet the blue eyes of an elderly woman. "Sir, all you alright?" she asked, sounding genuinely concerned. Remus hadn't realized he'd been crying, and quickly wiped the tears away. "I'm fine. Yeah. I'm fine."

The woman glanced at the front of the notebook, and smiled thoughtfully. "It's a beautiful journal. If you don't mind me asking, do you know the owner?"

"Yes," he whispered, and his voice sounded far away, "I knew her."

**{April 4****th**** 1979} **

_[Three months and it's still harder now_

_Three months I've been living here without you now_

_Three months yeah, three months.]_

"Remus John Lupin, don't you dare!" screamed Marlene, flinging one of her textbooks at him. He dodged it easily and continued to advance, a devilish grin plastered on his face. "I'm studying!" she shrieked when he had backed her into a corner.

"You're not allowed to study today," he said, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. "And why not?" she demanded, although her tone was less harsh. Remus chuckled and kissed her on the mouth. "Because I love you, and because today is our one and a half year anniversary." She bit her lip in thought and glanced over at her textbooks fleetingly before kissing him back.

"Oh what the hell. I can take a day off," she said.

"Excellent. And how should we spend this lovely day?" he asked, running a hand down her arm softly, and taking her hand making little circles with his thumb. She blushed a pale pink and smiled dazzlingly at him, her eyes aglow with mischief. "Well I have a few ideas…" she whispered, kissing him again. Remus laughed and kissed her back hard, walking backwards towards the maroon couch where he sat down and pulled her with him.

"I was thinking we could play a game of chess," he said cheekily and she ruffled his hair affectionately. "You're such a nerd."

"And yet you still put up with me…" he said, sighing sarcastically. Marlene kissed him, smirking.

"You have your uses," she told him, her hands playing with the bottom of his shirt. "Glad to hear it Marls." He replied, flipping their positions around so he was on the top, while simultaneously pulling off his shirt. Marlene let a hand trail delicately down his hard stomach, and looped a finger around the belt-hole of his jeans. "What about chess?" she murmured. Remus laughed, trailing kisses down her soft neck as she arched her back in pleasure.

"It can wait."

**{Present (1980)-Friday, April 4****th****.}**

Remus Lupin didn't leave his bed all day. He lay curled up, his hand clutching her _Memoir Orb*, _her voice the only sound in the universe to him. Everyone else had said a clear message, but she had insisted on singing a song. It was so typically Marlene.

"_When I find myself in times of trouble_

_Mother Mary comes to me_

_Speaking words of wisdom, let it be_

_And in my hour of darkness_

_She is standing right in front of me_

_Speaking words of wisdom, let it be_

_Let it be, let it be_

_Let it be, let it be_

_Whisper words of wisdom_

_Let it be_

_And when the brokenhearted people_

_Living in the world agree_

_There will be an answer, let it be_

_For though they may be parted_

_There is still a chance that they will see_

_There will be an answer, let it be_

_Let it be, let it be_

_Let it be, let it be_

_Yeah, there will be an answer let it be." _CRASH.

"Remus! You're not supposed to be here… Mmm… No, no. I need to finish this! Merlin's beard, I'll be down in a second! Yes, I love you too, now go!"

"_Let it be, let it be_

_Let it be, let it be_

_Whisper words of wisdom_

_Let it be_

_Let it be, let it be_

_Let it be, yeah, let it be_

_Whisper words of wisdom_

_Let it be_

_And when the night is cloudy_

_There is still a light that shines on me_

_Shine on until tomorrow, let it be_

_I wake up to the sound of music_

_Mother Mary comes to me_

_Speaking words of wisdom, let it be_

_Yeah, let it be, let it be_

_Let it be, yeah, let it be_

_There will be an answer, let it be_

_Let it be, let it be_

_Let it be, yeah, let it be_

_Whisper words of wisdom_

_Let it be…" _

(*Memoir Orb= A small clear crystal orb (looks like a prophecy) that holds a message from the owner, meant only to opened after that person's death.)

**{Present (1980)- Monday, April 18****th****.} **

_[Three months and I'm still breathing_

_Three months and I still remember it_

_Three months and I wake up.]_

Marlene,

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly circling in the daytime, and falling into at night. I miss you like hell. Sometimes when one person is missing the whole world seems depopulated. I know people mourning have to come to grips with death before they can live again. Mourning doesn't end after a year or a few months, that's a false fantasy. It never ends. But when people realize that they can live again, that they can concentrate their energies on their lives as a whole, and not on their hurt, or guilt and pain—it changes. I've been living in a cage for the past three months, because of my guilt—and knowing my nature that will never go away. But now I think I am starting to come to terms with your death. I am at least no longer in denial. You aren't coming back, and I have to stop this crazyness. I know you see Marls. You would say I have to go on. And I agree that I would be no use to the world if I stay locked up for the rest of my life.

You wrote something once, that stuck with me. "Death is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away."

I've been clutching it. I've been holding it so close to me, and it hurt at first, like real silver to someone like me, it sunk in deep, burning… But like with real silver I built up endurance. I'm stronger now for it, and I accept, finally, that you're gone. I'm not at the point where I can let you go, and maybe I never will be, but I can **let it be**.

Do you remember that poem you used to love? You used to read it over and over… I just remembered it now.

'Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die.'

And it's true. You aren't the crumpled body under this soil. You're everywhere, and even though you are gone in that way, in another way you're still here.

~R.J Lupin

Remus Lupin took a deep breath and walked away. At the edge of the grave plot, a small bit of soil was freshly dug up and covered over where he buried the letter. He glanced back to look at the quote engraved on the black marble before he apparated.

'_Let It Be_.'

**{December 16****th**** 1979- their last day together.} **

_[Three months and I'm still sober_

_Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers.]_

[[9:30 am]]

When Remus finally emerged from sleep, he found that Marlene was not there with him. It was unusual for her to be up so early, in fact getting Marlene up before 11:00 was a task. Remus glanced at the clock and saw to his surprise that it was only 9:30 a.m. Where could she be?

"Marls?" he called urgently, getting out of bed and pulling on a pair of boxers. No one answered. Remus hurried as he reached the winding staircase and crashed into a large pile of books on his way down, falling the rest of the way. He landed in a misshapen heap on the floor, but quickly regained his composure and ran into the kitchen, holding his side. "Marlene!"

There, on the kitchen counter was a hastily written note in Marlene's curling handwriting.

'Gone to Lily and James', had some girl things to discuss with Lily. Sorry if I worried you. Be back by 10, xoxo Marlene.'

Remus breathed a sigh of relief and put the note in his pocket. Only now did he realize how much his side was aching from the fall down the stairs, and he rubbed at it, wincing. He hadn't been feeling good to begin with, due to the Full Moon that was coming up that night. He glanced into the mirror hanging above the kitchen sink, and looked away quickly. He looked terrible. His skin was a sickly pale color, and his eyes were bloodshot.

He decided to not dwell on what he couldn't control and take care of what he could. His stomach was beginning to make strange noises.

[[3:00pm]]

Marlene walked in the door and was instantly enveloped in a bone-crushing hug from Remus. Remus had been worried sick that something had happened to her when she didn't return from Lily and James' but she looked fine if a bit shaken.

"Where the hell were you all this time? I was terrified!" he said helping her up and hugging her again. Marlene shrugged. "I was at Lily's, like I said, and on the way back I ran into Poppy Pomfrey, the old nurse in training at Hogwarts, remember?"

Remus nodded. "I remember her. Brown hair, severe, bit like McGonagall. How was she?"

"Well she's head nurse there now, and she was just talking to me about how my training was going," said Marlene nonchalantly, before walking into the kitchen, her pace quick. Remus sighed, and followed, racking a hand through his disheveled hair.

"Marls, I told you that if you wanted to go back to St. Mungo's to get your working degree you could." She was facing away from him, leaning into the counter and fiddling with her hair. Finally she turned around. "I can't go back though Remus. Not now, not until this bloody war is over!" she snapped, before turning away from him again. Remus made his way towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Marlene. What is going on? Something else is upsetting you," he said quietly, and she tensed. "What is it?" he persisted, but she wrenched herself free from his arms and walked over to the table, almost falling into the seat.

"There are just some things that you… don't understand." She said finally, placing her words carefully, as though she was afraid of saying too much or saying the wrong thing. "Some things that are going on right now."

"Is this about Daniel?" asked Remus hesitantly. Marlene tensed and bit her lip nervously. "No, it's not. Remus, can we drop this please?" she said, getting up and walking out of the room. He heard her running footsteps clanging up the winding staircase, and the slam of a door.

[[5:40pm]]

"Marlene! Are you going to come down anytime soon? Suppers ready." Called Remus Lupin up the stairs. Marlene had yet to come down after their… Remus wondered whether one could even call it an argument. He still wasn't sure what had happened.

"I'll be down in a second!" she yelled from the bedroom, and Remus walked back to the kitchen, serving them both a heap of pesto pasta with homemade garlic bread. Marlene walked into the kitchen a few minutes later, looking composed although slightly nervous.

"You alright?" asked Remus, pulling a chair out for her to sit down. "Yeah, I'm fine. This looks delicious by the way, thanks." She sat down and grabbed a fork. They ate quietly until finally Remus spoke up.

"Marlene, about tonight. It's the Full Moon, yes I know you know that, but I was thinking maybe you should spend the night at your parents' house."

The resonating silence pounded against Remus's ears as he watched Marlene lift her head slowly and narrow her eyes defiantly.

"Why?" she demanded, "I've _always _stayed inside the house. Its not like you can hurt me Remus, you're locked up."

Remus sighed quietly. "It's not me hurting you that I'm worried about."

"The Death Eaters then? They've never come before, why would they come tonight? And I can fend for myself, I'm a trained Auror!" she cried, standing up and crossing her arms. "In fact I gave up my chosen career to become an Auror."

"Marls—." Remus began but was cut off as Marlene slammed her fist onto the table. "If you're angry with me, then just say you want me to leave. Don't hide behind pretenses of worry because we both know I'm capable of fending for myself. More than capable."

Remus took a deep breath and lowered his eyes. "I'm not angry at you. I just want you to be safe."

"I just said—!"

"No, let me finish. You've been acting strange lately, and don't deny it, you have. I know Daniel's death was hard on you—."

"THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH DANIEL!" Screamed Marlene, breathing hard. "You have NO CLUE what this is about!"

Remus stood up too and clenched his fist. "Then _tell me_ for Merlin's sake!"

Marlene swayed suddenly and sat down in her seat, placing her head in her hands. "I can't. God, I _want _to Remus, I do, but it's hard! Please, can we stop arguing?" She said quietly and Remus felt instantly guilty. He walked over to her seat, and standing behind her, he stroked the side of her neck, calming her down. She breathed in deeply and let out a shaky breath before turning around to face him. Her dark brown eyes were watery and she looked paler than normal, but maybe it was just the light. The cheap chandelier had always given awful lighting.

"I just want to stay here." She said.

"Please Marlene. Just this once, I promise. It would make me feel so much better, knowing that you were safe."

Marlene looked him straight in the eyes, and nodded her head. "Okay." She breathed. "I'll go to mom and dad's house. But I'll come let you out in the morning, alright?"

Remus smiled and bent over to kiss her. "Alright."

**{Present (1 9 8 5)- December 16****th****.} [Five Years Later]**

Remus Lupin had moved to France two years prior to this day. It was on that day that he had finally been able to start anew. Remus could remember the day clearly, could see himself two years younger walking down to Marlene's gravestone on the anniversary of her death. Marlene and him had always had multiple anniversaries, celebrating everything, even the anniversary of Marlene's first prank. It was nice to have an excuse to celebrate, and leave the world behind for a bit.

Remus walked to their old apartment and looked around, once a year. He couldn't bring himself to sell the place, but he couldn't live there anymore. He would lay on the bed for a while, imagining her dancing or singing or doing what she liked to call _yoga_ on hard wood floor. He would picture her beautiful figure next to his own on those nights that he was home in England, and some nights when he was in France too. There wasn't any way to actually _forget _her, but he could breath now, he could continue living life. Well, as much as a werewolf could with these new laws in place… Marlene would have hated it, he thought, smiling despite the fact that he was walking down to Godrick's Hollow to visit her grave, as well as Lily and James. Mary had been buried in Scotland with her family, but he had gone over to visit her a few times as well.

Sitting down next to the snow-covered gravestone he took out his wand and began to lift the dirt from the place where he had buried that letter years ago. When he found it, he ripped it in half, letting the pieces fall the ground and flutter away like butterflies of some sort. Marlene had loved butterflies. Reaching into his pocket he drew out another piece of paper with only one line written on it.

'Death is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.'


End file.
